Bonding is a special treasure for every mom. You might have spent your entire pregnancy wondering what the moment would feel like when you were handed your tiny baby for the first time. However, as much as some moms hope for an instant bond, they don’t receive it. To that momma I say, it’s okay and give it a little time.
With my first child, I didn’t feel the instant mother-daughter connection. Of course the unconditional love was immediate, but the bonding took time. I remember questioning if I was a good mom since I didn’t have the immediate feeling other moms were talking about. It was hard to bond with a tiny baby that couldn’t express themselves and cried a lot. So here is what I found helpful to create our special mother-daughter connection.
- Feeding time. Whether you are nursing or bottle feeding, this time is very special. Put away your phone and simply stare at your baby. Memorize their features. The way their hair sways, their chunky (or not so chunky) thighs, and how unbelievably soft their never-walked-on feet are.
- Use a baby wrap or carrier. This helps for bonding and convenience! Having your sweet baby close to your heart feels really great. When they fall asleep in the wrap or carrier, it’s basically a cuddle you can take anywhere with you. Feel free to get some house chores done this way too.
- Read to them. Sure it might seem silly to read to a person who can’t even hold their own head up, let alone talk, but this activity is more than reading a story. You are creating a memory with your child and they enjoy hearing your sweet voice.
- Talk to them. No matter what you are doing, let them know! This was hard for me with my first, especially if we were home alone. It might feel like you are talking to yourself, but your baby is a little sponge and is soaking up every word you say. Let her know when you are changing her diaper, “Okay! You need a diaper change. Momma is going to get you all clean! Here’s a new diaper, doesn’t that feel better?”
- Play games. Games like “Peek-a-boo” and “How big is the baby?” are both easy ways to make silly faces with him. Making interactions with your baby will help you understand his personality better while he studies your facial expressions.
Allow yourself however long it takes to create your special bond with your child. Every mom is different and every child will have a unique bond with their momma. Enjoy the newborn stage, because as cliché as it is to say, they really do turn into toddlers quickly! One day your tiny baby will be a “big-kid” and the bond you worked so hard to get will be worth it!